


Teach Me What It Means To Love Again

by faithfulhorizon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Ymir/Christa is mentioned, so is Jean/Armin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithfulhorizon/pseuds/faithfulhorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Jaeger feels as if his entire world is falling apart;  his mother is slowly dying, his sister is starting to give up on his mother, his father walked out on him a long time ago and left without a word-- he doesn't know what to do anymore, and he's forgotten how it feels to be loved, and to love.</p><p>His life begins to change, and he doesn't know if this is for the better or for the worse, because of a flower (the man didn't even take the flower in the end). And he wonders if he can be taught again how to love, and just what it means to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey! so this is my first snk fanfic and yeah ;w; I already posted this on fanfiction.net and I'm just gonna post it here too
> 
> I really like the idea of Eren being like, fascinated by flowers and knowing their meanings and taking the time to get to know meanings to flowers he doesn't know. So that's how this was born!

"It's too early to be alive."

I had been stumbling around my home for the past twenties minutes, trying to get ready and _fully_  awake so I wouldn't be late, or in danger of being late with two seconds to spare, to work. Armin had told me that, maybe, getting up an hour earlier would be better than twenty minutes before - I would actually have time to shower (quickly, but it would wake me up a little), get dressed and look presentable. But, even still, no matter how many times I brushed down my hair, it would still stick out at odd angles and drive me insane, and eventually, I just gave up.

It was also that untamed hair that I wanted to rip off my scalp. I wasn't in danger of being late to work, not yet, but if I wanted to shower, I needed to find a pair of jeans and a white shirt that was actually  _clean_ , and it didn't help that I was still half asleep, even after stumbling over nothing a few good times.

Armin said that he would call me a half hour before my shift started, despite my protests. I told him, over and over, that I "wasn't a child anymore and didn't need you or Mikasa calling to make sure that I'm up like my mother would" but he wouldn't have anything of it. He said it wouldn't be a thing he did every morning I had to work, only the first few times to make sure I was up and I could practically hear his grin over the phone.

The place where I worked at was a family owned flower shop - my family's, to be exact. My mother started it up a year or two before I was born, and still kept going with it once she had me. Some days after school, my father would take me up there, if my mother was working, and we would spend the night talking to her and helping her with customers, if any came in. Most days, when I was there, it was empty - only a few customers coming in with too big of smiles, too sweet of a personality, but it didn't bother me too much.

I just liked spending time with my mother by all the flowers, listening to her as she told of what the meaning was behind a flower.

Once I was thirteen, I actually started "working" there, under my mother's supervision. Perhaps, working wasn't the right word to use; it was more of an allowance. All I did was help my mother out, everyday after school that she was working. I helped with the orders, putting flowers into bouquets nicely, tying a string around them as well as the plastic that protected them. At the end of the week, my mother would give me a twenty dollar bill, and ruffle my hair, telling me that I was a great help. It wasn't until I was seventeen that I actually starting working there with a  _real_  pay, as did Mikasa.

Mikasa was my adopted sister; she came into our family when I was nine. She was terribly quiet, at first, staring at me with a curious gleam in her eyes. I was just as curious. I wanted to know how she ended up in the adoption center, what happened in her past and if she even  _remembered_  - but I knew better. It was too early to be prying into her past, even though I always, according to my mother, spoke and asked whatever was on my mind. That was one of the only times I didn't do just that.

I didn't walk up to hug her, or shake her hand, because really, what nine year old does that? She was new, and I could tell she was uncomfortable with the new surrounding, but I knew, somehow, that she would fit in. It would only take time. And it did.

She tagged along after school to the flower shop, helping out just as I did. I would tell her the meaning behind some of the flowers, just as my mother told me, and her lips would twitch up in the smallest of smiles, and it would be completely genuine. There were times we would just sit down and talk, though it was mostly me who did the talking; she would listen and nod her head, sometimes smile, or the occasional frown, a worry line appearing between her eyebrows. I didn't realize how much I actually opened up to Mikasa, in such a short time, until my mother mentioned it to me one day, the day I gave her my favorite scarf.

It was a cold winter's day, and Mikasa had just turned ten, whereas I was still nine. My father was working that afternoon when school let out, and so was my mother, so we had to walk to the flower shop. It wasn't terribly far, but the bitter cold made the trip that much worse.

I remember looking over at Mikasa on the walk home. Not many words had been exchanged between the two of us, mostly because we were focused on getting to the shop without falling on any ice that was still on the sidewalk. She looked cold. I felt cold, as well, but it still didn't stop me from unraveling the scarf from my neck and reaching over to wrap it around her's. I got a questioning look in return, and all I said was that she looked cold.

The next afternoon, a Saturday, my mother and I had been waiting for Mikasa to come down from her room so we could go get new snow boots. When she came down, she was wearing the scarf, and my mother sported a smile. She wore the scarf pretty much every time I saw her.

I smiled fondly at the memory, opening the basement door and descending down the stairs. There were times I got Mikasa to sneak down these very stairs with me to try and scare my mother as she did laundry. We learned that they squeaked, and I knew that - but it only occured to me when I was trying to surprise someone. As time went on, we got quieter, and were finally able to scare her.

Entering the laundry room, I saw that the dryer had finished it cycle overnight. I breathed a sigh of relief before coming to a stop in front of it, pulling open the door while crouching down, and then, began my search. There was a sock, and then I found my shirt, a little wrinkly, but it would do. My jeans came shortly after, and all I had to do was find the matching sock-

"There it is."

I closed the door once I had the sock, setting my clothes down on the table my mother had put in here. It was our old kitchen table, one that she said had many memories, and couldn't bear to get rid of. My father was so confused at the notion, only shrugging and telling her that it could go down in the laundry room, that the family could use it to fold clothes and put in piles of whose was whose clothing. Her smile was so bright, and thinking about it was making me miss seeing the way her smiles would light up her eyes.

I changed in the room. It didn't really matter where I changed because Mikasa wasn't home, my father left a long time ago, shortly after my mother went into the hospital, so no one would really walk in on me.

Once dressed, I threw the clothes I had been wearing into the washer, making a mental note to see if Mikasa, and myself, had any more dirty clothes to put in there. And to also empty the dryer - but that had to wait.

I went back up the stairs, walking into the kitchen to grab my key to the house. It wasn't _terribly_  cold out (at least it wasn't yesterday), not enough so the wind was howling and nipping at your face with such ferocity it left you feeling as if you couldn't feel your own face, and only did start to feel it again once you were back inside the warmth of a household. My coat, I noticed, was sitting on the counter, and I knew it was Mikasa's doing - who else would have done it?

My shift started at ten, and as I picked up my coat and looked at the clock, I had twenty five minutes to spare. I pulled my coat on with a grin; this was the earliest I was going to be leaving the house, if I was honest. It wasn't until I had slipped my key into the coat's pocket that I realized I hadn't showered yet, but quickly shrugged it off - it didn't really matter, I showered the night before so it was going to have to do.

I realized as I went outside, and closed the door behind my, locking it, that it was still  _very_  cold out. All I could really do was frown and stuff my hands into my pockets before starting off to work. I walking today, not because I wanted to but because Mikasa had taken the car. We only had one car now, one for the three of us to use, well, me and Mikasa now - my dad, when he had taken off, took the other car and a suitcase without another word.

I found myself looking around at the snow covering the ground, looking up at the snow also covering the bare tree branches. It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful how the snow could make the world look a little more beautiful, just like flowers did. There were times I couldn't help but wonder if it would still feel beautiful at this time of year if flowers were in full bloom and the trees had their leaves again, where they just didn't die and bloom again when spring comes. It wouldn't feel right, it would defy the laws of nature and it just wouldn't-

My thoughts were cut off with a buzzing in my coat's pocket.  _Oh, so_ now _he's calling_? Figuring it was Armin, I didn't bother to look at the screen to see who was calling, and instead, pressed the call button as I pulled the device out of my pocket and brought it up to my ear, grunting out a "hello?" as a gust of air came whizzing past me.

"Hey, sleeping beauty. Did I wake you up?"

Back track, it wasn't Armin. Surprisingly.

"Fuck off, Jean."

"Oh my, I believe I did. You know, you have work today and only have fifteen minutes to get there, Princess Eren."

This guy really liked messing with my buttons. I never liked him, never; not even when we first met in the sixth grade. We were in the same homeroom class, and gym as well, and it did not help that we sat right next to each other. (Okay, so maybe we were pretty cool at first and I actually considered him a friend, but the next year, our seventh grade year, I heard him say something about Mikasa - and I just went bat shit crazy. I didn't punch him, I didn't scream, I just fumed and sort of ... yelled at him when it was the end of the day. We were "frenemies" ever since, especially when he threw a dodge ball right at my face in gym class. And it also didn't help when he stopped having such a major crush on Mikasa, stopped asking her out, and instead started crushing on  _Armin_.)

"Why the fuck haven't I hung up on you?" I mused, glancing up from my feet to see the flower shop up ahead. "I'm almost to the shop right now, actually, so you can go suck a dick."

"Already do that," he replied, and I could hear the smirk in his tone, and if we were in the same room, I know he would've winked at me like the little bitch he is. He was so annoying, god I wanted to punch him.

I groaned, "Please stop, I don't want to know about your sex life."  _Especially not when my best friend is involved._

Armin and Jean had been dating for a while - and I tried not to think about it. I never approved of it, but I wanted Armin to be happy. He told me before that Jean makes him happy, that he's not getting hurt and that he doesn't need me to "punch him in the face and shove a foot up his ass." Even after he told me this, I still didn't approve of it and probably never would. I hated Jean. I wanted Armin to have someone that was worth his time, someone that he really,  _really_ , deserves.

Ugh, and the day Jean asked Armin out, he came to my house, with the biggest smile on his face and tears threatening to spill out from his brilliant blue eyes and down his rosy tinted cheeks. When he told me, that Jean asked him out, his smile somehow grew wider and his voice was an octave higher - and though I didn't like Jean, whatsoever, I couldn't help but smile and pull him in for a big hug. Mikasa had come in the room shortly after, confusion written across her face, and Armin pulled away from me and told her what he told me. She smiled too, and told him that she was happy for him, also pulling him in for a hug.

"Alright, but I do want you to know I was doing that last night," he chuckled.

" _Jean_ ," I warned, and heard another chuckle come from the other side of the line. "Listen, really, why did you even call me?"

There was a pause, and I heard some shuffling, as I came to a stop at the back door to the shop, pulling it open and taking a step inside. A gust of warm air hit me automatically, and I felt relieved, even if there was a faint stinging because of it; I was finally able to feel my cheeks again.

"Armin's still asleep," he finally answered, "and he told me that if I was up before him and before ten, to call you and make sure you're up. So, being the good boyfriend I am, I did just that."

I rolled my eyes, shrugging off my coat and hanging it up on the coat rack, beside the other coat already hanging on it. "Alright, congrats. Now I'm gonna go, because I don't really wanna talk to you and I'm at work."

"Love you too, Jaeger." There was clear sarcasm in his voice, but I still managed a smirk.

"Yeah yeah, bye."

I hung up, slipping my phone into my jeans pocket as I came to the front desk, and was greeting with the sounds of bustling. No one was here yet, customer wise, since the shop didn't open up until ten, but, there was an employee here, if you could call it that.

"There you are, Eren!" Hannes turned around with a grin on his face, a bouquet of flowers in his hands. "A little early for once, aren't we?"

Hannes was the co-owner of the shop. A few years ago, when I was eighteen, my mother convinced him to become a co-owner. She said she needed help with the shop, even though she had Mikasa and I working there everyday after school, she wanted an adult to be able to help with it - and so, she went to Hannes. He was a friend of the family, and has been ever since I could remember (pretty sure long before I was even born; my mother never told me, but I had a feeling they had been friends since high school, or before).

"Yeah," I grinned, picking my apron off the peg it had been resting on overnight. "Mikasa's not here?"

"No, she's off today."

I should have figured that she wouldn't have been here, or be working today, but it still surprised me either way. We normally worked at the same time, that way we could keep each other company if Hannes wasn't there for the night. If he was, all three of us would play a game of cards, waiting for a customer to show up, and when hearing the bell give its little jingle, signaling someone was coming inside, Mikasa and I (it normally would be us) would jump up and go to help them. Some customers just wanted a pretty bouquet, others needed help figuring out if there was a flower with a specific meaning; those were always my favorite customers.

"Guess it's just you and me then," was all I really said, but I did earn a smile from Hannes.

I sat down beside him, and soon enough, it was opening time. Hannes went to change the sign from 'closed' to 'open' and then came back to join me. We chatted, mostly about nothing. Hannes asked me what I was up to, and how my mother was doing, saying how he really needed to get up there and see it. "It's felt like ages since I've last seen her," he mused, leaning back in his chair. "I've just been busy, but soon enough, I'll bring her up some flowers."

The last time I visited my mother, which was sometime last week, she had so many flowers in her room. Mikasa and I would bring up a bouquet, and tell her why we picked out whatever flowers were in there and she would give us a small upturn of her lips. It was something, but, the smile never did reach her eyes anymore. Her eyes looked so dull in comparison to how bright they used to be.

Around noon was when I heard the familiar jingle of the bell. I held up a finger to Hannes, jumping up and putting a smile on my face, and it didn't sit on my face for very long.

"Mikasa?"

My sister looked up at me, pulling down her scarf just a bit to show the small smile that was taking over her lips. I didn't think I would see her until I got home, or went up to see my mom, but I was wrong. Not that I minded.

"Hey, Eren," she greeted, stopping at the counter. Hannes looked up and smiled, waving at her, and she did so in return.

"What're you doing here? I thought you had today off?"

Her gray hues scanned the selection of flowers, letting out a soft sigh. "I came up to get some flowers for mom. Last time I was there, all the ones she had were starting to die off."

Mikasa had started calling my mother "mom" a while ago, finally getting used to living with us and thought that she could. She looked so scared when she first said it, but, if someone who barely knew her saw her face, they wouldn't have thought she looked scared at all. But I knew her, and I could see it in her eyes. My mother only smiled, and told her it was okay to call her that - she would love it if she did. So, she did.

She called my father "dad" for sometime, but stopped when he up and left us, when he started acting mean a few months prior. She always would hiss his name out whenever he was brought up, and really, I couldn't blame her. He left us at a hard time, and I hated him for it. My mother had just gotten admitted to the hospital, and not even a week later, he left with a suitcase over night, not saying when he'd be back - or even  _if_  he would be.

I managed a smile. "Alright, I was thinking about going up later, so I'll bring something too. But, what do you wanna bring up to her?"

Mikasa grew quiet, glancing around quietly once more as she did so. It didn't take long before our gaze met once again. "Good memories?"

A meaning for a flower, not an actual flower; typical Mikasa. I knew she was messing with me, because she knew what most of the flowers in the shop meant, and so did I - we made sure we did, so we could be just as good with flowers as my mother.

"One moment," I held up a finger as if she was an actual customer and not my sister. I slipped away, going to the back - where most of the flowers were held - and slipped inside the room. Flowers decorated the entirety of the room, all maintained and nursed carefully. My eyes scanned the room before they fell on what I was looking for; small, blue buds: Forget-me-nots.

I walked up to the plant, plucking them out carefully, and bundling them together. It was a cycle; first find the right flowers, pick up a ribbon (my mother liked tying ribbons around the flowers instead; she thought it was prettier, so Mikasa and I kept at doing what she did), then bundle them together and put plastic around them to maintain the flowers in any way possible and find a little card, if they wanted to write a little note to whomever they were being given to. I figured, Mikasa wouldn't need a card, so I let that part go, and tied the ribbon around the stems, and then put the plastic around them.

I walked back out to Mikasa, flowers in hand and a small smile on my face. "I think these'll do," I announced, handing the flowers over to her. She took them, eyes sweeping over the blue buds as she muttered a quiet, "Thank you."

"Well, I suppose I'll be on my way, then," she looked back up, reaching into her pocket and I knew she was going for money, but I stopped her before she even could get any green or coins out.

"Don't, Mikasa. I'll put it in for you later," I waved a hand dismissively, and she stared at me for a moment, giving me that look that she's done so many times before. I didn't need her paying for it, when one, she worked here, and two, I could just pay for it myself for her before leaving the shop later. I won though, and she gave a nod.

"Alright," she sighed. "I'll see you up at the hospital then?"

"Yeah."

"See ya, and you too Hannes." Hannes told her goodbye, waving as she left the store. Before she left completely, she glanced over her shoulder at me, our gazes meeting for a split second and I saw the worry in her eyes, the worry that's been there ever since my mother was put in the hospital. She didn't hold it for long, and soon enough, the door closed behind her and she was gone.

Mikasa and I had grown so close, close enough that we felt like actual siblings, and to where we could have conversations with no words. I knew she was worried about my mother, and sometimes, I felt like she was more worried than I was. I could understand why, though.

"Wanna close up early tonight?" Hannes asked, suddenly. I blinked, soon turning around at him to raise an eyebrow in question.

"Like, right now?"

Hannes laughed. "No, no," he waved a hand, gaze still locked on the papers scattered on the table before him. "About an hour or two before closing."

I had nothing against that, so I agreed. After I plopped down back in my seat, we started talking again until another customer, soon followed by another, came in. The first one was a young lady, and she asked if there were any sorts of flowers that her sister might like for graduation. I gave her a bouquet of yellow roses, telling her that they could be given to graduates. She thanked him, and shortly after, an older looking man came in, a soft smile playing atop his lips. He asked for a bouquet of red roses, telling me that they were his wife's favorite.

A half hour after the elderly man, Hannes got up, stretching his arms above his head. "Hey, I gotta run somewhere real quick. Think you'll be alright?"

I nodded, giving him a thumbs up as well to assure him that it's cool, he can go and I'll be fine here. He grabbed his coat, and ruffled up my hair - it was a habit of his, something that he had done ever since I was five - and told me he'd be back in an hour tops.

Being alone in the shop wasn't terrible; I never minded being here alone. Whenever I was, I would just sit there, think about whatever was going on - or tend to the flowers, and the occasional cleaning off the counter top.

But, I really liked just spending time with my mother here - when it was just her and I.

We hadn't been alone in the flower shop, just the two of us, in what felt like forever. Mikasa was normally with us, and if she wasn't, then Hannes or Dad was. There were the few days, very rare but there all the same, that it would just be us and we could talk - I would tell her whatever was going on in my mind, whatever had happened at school recently, how much Jean got on my nerves, and what Armin, Mikasa and I wanted to do over the weekend. She would listen, and put her two cents in here and there, giving a nod, a hum of acknowledgement.

I got up and headed to the back, to the flowers and began to water them, when I heard the bell. I put the flower sprinkler down, wiped my hands off on my apron and headed back out to the front, but came to a stop before reaching the counter.

Most of the customers I knew were regulars, or had been in here at least once or twice before, but this man that was standing at the counter, well, I'd never seen him before. I shrugged it off, putting on a smile and walked up to the counter, gaining the man's attention - and wow, his eyes were a beautiful blue (not quite as brilliant as Armin's, but, whatever).

"Good morning! How can I help you, sir?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new customer has beautiful eyes, Eren concludes, but he's also a pain when trying to figure out what flowers are best (and yet, he seems intrigued by the flower type he turned down).

Our gazes met, and I swear it felt like he was staring straight into my soul.

For a moment, I believed that he wasn't going to say a word. I thought he was just going to stare at me, act as if I wasn't there, or if he hadn't heard me (and maybe, he didn't, but I had a feeling he did), and overall: make me feel stupid. Now that he was this close up, I could see that his eyes were in fact a beautiful blue, but they had a swirl of silver in them, adding on to it all.

His black hair was parted, and looked soft to the touch. The suit he was wearing didn't look like it had any wrinkles in it whatsoever, and his tie wasn't out of place and looked ... nice.

It wasn't too long before the silence between us was broken, my train of thought (and looking over the man) broken as well, by an answer of, "I need flowers."

_I would've never guessed._

As if it wasn't obvious that he needed flowers. He came to a flower shop, for crying out loud.  _Yeah, I'm here for a big mac, with extra cheese and no pickles. And can you make sure there's extra ketchup on it? Wait, what do you mean you don't fucking sell big macs._  He didn't even look like the type to eat out. "Right," I nodded, taking a quick glance around at the flowers in plain sight. It would've been easier if he told me what the occasion was, or if he had a specific kind in mind - but, you just can't get everything in life you want. "What's the occasion?"

The man stared at me in return. I couldn't tell what the silent message he was giving me said, because all it looked like was that he was staring at me with an un-amused face, a little frown turning his lips downwards. He really didn't look like a very sociable type of person, and from the looks of it, my attempts at trying to figure out what kind of flower would do best wasn't making him very happy.

When he didn't answer me, I proposed more questions, "Like, is it a wedding? Or are you giving them to your significant other? Is it your mom's birthday? Maybe your sister's or a friend's? Did someone graduate from college or high school or-"

"What does it matter?" he snapped, effectively cutting me off.

"Uh." Was it that big of a deal that he just told me why he was getting flowers? Was it personal, or something? It couldn't be  _that_  personal to where he couldn't tell me the reason he was getting them, now, could it? And why didn't he just answer with one of the possibilities I named off, or told me it wasn't one of those? "It doesn't? It'll just help with picking out the flowers."

Now it was very clear that the man was starting to get aggravated with me.

"It's just for a good friend of mine, and she likes flowers anyway," was all I got, with a slightly confused looking gaze, even while his lips were curling downwards. It wasn't of much help, like, at all, but it was going to have to do because I was afraid if I asked anymore questions the man might bite my head. He didn't scare me though, he was a shortie and couldn't be taller than 5'3".

I sighed, scanning the flowers one last time before holding up a finger and told him, "Be right back." I slipped away, going to the back room where the rest of the flowers were located.

_Just a friend that likes flowers._

There were lilies, roses, marigolds, magnolias, all types of flowers. And yet, none of them were really giving me anything. Lilies wouldn't do, roses would be better if he was giving them to someone he was dating or married to, sweet peas were more for goodbyes and I didn't think he was saying goodbye to his friend and zinnias-

I groaned, covering my face with my hands. This was difficult, and it really shouldn't be this difficult.

I wanted the flowers to  _mean_  something though, and not just be a random bouquet he got without thinking about it. The guy didn't really seem to _care_  though, so why should I even care what flowers I gave him, if he liked them? As long as they were pretty, they'd probably do the trick. I mean, not everyone cared about the meaning of flowers.

But that's not what my mom would've done.

My mother would've pried out why the customer was here for flowers, what the occasion was, who it was for, or if they just wanted a new bouquet to give their house a little more life to it; a more happy atmosphere. She would've asked every single one, and I've witnessed it happen before. My mother would've never settled for the answer I just did, even if she started to aggravate the customer by how much she was prying into their life (which, really wasn't much. All she was looking for was why they were here for flowers, just so she could give them the perfect kind).

There were times, though, when they wouldn't really give much, and she wouldn't pry any further. She would disappear to the back room, and it wouldn't take her too long, before she came out with a bouquet ready to go. Even if she didn't have much to go off of, the customer would still be happy, and I always believed that the flowers she picked out were the perfect kind.

She wouldn't want me to just bring out a random bouquet and shove them into the customer's face. She took pride in her flowers, and always treated her customers kindly, even if they were being major assholes. And, this guy wasn't, at least, not yet.

I scanned the room again, going over all the possibilities; roses, carnations, irises, daisies, tulips, violets-

Then, it came to me; the perfect flower.

I left the room and went back out front, noticing that the man was still there. At the noise, he looked up, confusion clear in his eyes when I returned with nothing. He looked as if he was going to say something, but if he was, nothing ever came. He let me walk past him, and let me pluck out a flower that was resting in a vase, like some of the other flowers were.

If this flower didn't do the trick, I wasn't sure what would.

I walked back up to him, slipping behind the counter and held the flower out to show him. "What about this?"

He stared at it for a moment, eyes growing a bit wide, as had mine when I first saw this flower. Quite frankly, it was my favorite, and could be given to three kinds of people, depending upon what they meant to you, and how you thought of them. His gaze soon flickered back up to mine, and I stared to tell him about it, but didn't get very far, "It's a bluebir-"

"No."

I blinked, confused now. He didn't even let me tell him what its name was, or the meaning of it and he just, turned it down? I know not everyone enjoyed listening to me ranting about the meaning of flowers, but the least he could've let me done was tell him what its name was. "No?"

"No means no, didn't your mother ever teach you its meaning?" he countered, the frown back on his face, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. "Can I just have a bouquet of carnations?"

That would've been so much easier if he just said he wanted carnations in the _first_  place. "Sure thing, _jackass_ ," I mumbled the last word underneath my breath as quietly as I could, hoping that he wouldn't hear it.

His eyebrows rose up, "What did you just call me, brat?"

"Nothing, sir," I set the flower back in a vase filled with camellias, not bothering to walk it back to its own vase. "What color?"

"Excuse me?"

"The color of the carnation. What color do you want it to be in?"

"I don't fucking know." He paused. "Surprise me."

"Alright, I'll be right back then," I said, giving a roll of my eyes before slipping away to the back room again.

There were times where I just wanted to be as rude to a customer as I could, especially if they were rude in return (which was about the only time I ever felt like that). And there was one time, where I was rude to a "customer", with Mikasa and my mom there. But it was just Jean.

He was making things so difficult I wanted to punch him in the face. But even getting  _angry_  with him made my mom upset. She gave me a long lecture of how, no matter how rude or difficult a customer was, you couldn't be mean or rude to them in return. It would give your business a bad reputation, and she wasn't going to risk that.

Jean had been there the whole time she was giving me this lecture, and the next day at school, he brought it up and laughed. I swear, I hate that asshole with every bone in my body multiplied by seven. He laughed at me every time the opportunity came up in high school. Thankfully, he doesn't do it as much nowadays, but he still does it, just not as often. And I still hate him, just not as much.

He said surprise me, so I grabbed six white carnations and went through the routine again; tying them together, putting the plastic around them and then tying the plastic to make sure it stays in place. I wasn't sure if he wanted a little card along with it, but I clipped one to one of the flowers just in case he did.

Walking back out to the front, I saw he was looking at the vase of flowers holding the camellias and the lone flower I offered him earlier. He looked curious, almost, but his facial expression never changed from the one when he first walked in the door. He looked away though, and I wasn't sure why he did.

"Well, here's your flowers." I held them out for him to take once behind the counter again, and, he didn't at first. His gaze met mine again, and held it for a few seconds. I got that feeling again, the feeling where he was staring straight through me and could see straight into my soul, and I really, really, did not like the feeling. But like before, it didn't last long.

He never took the flowers first. Instead, he pulled out his wallet, opening it and grabbed a twenty dollar bill. I never told him how much it costed (only twelve dollars, but, it wasn't like he _knew_  that), but he still held it out, now waiting for me to take it. "Here."

"Sir, it's only twelve dollars."

He looked as if he was going to say, "it's called change, idiot, look it up" and I thought he was going to, but he never did, and instead told me to just take it. I did, swapping with him the flowers. And when I was going to put it in the cash register and pull out his change, he stopped me by saying, "Just keep it."

It was obvious I was confused, but he waved a hand before turning on his heel as I heard the back door close. "Well, uh, thank you! And have a nice day!"

I got no answer in return, only the closing of the front door and a sight of his back as he walked away.

"Hey kid, I'm back!" Hannes called.

I was still staring at the front door when Hannes came up to me, the rustling of his coat being taken off the only sound that gave him away. "Hey, took you long enough to get here," I replied, pulling my gaze away from the door and directing it to Hannes. He was hanging up his coat with a grin, and I could tell he was rolling his eyes in a playful manner.

"You're a big boy, Eren," he teased, and I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face. "How many customers did you get while I was out?"

"Three." Not many, but we didn't get a big flood of customers every single day anyway. "The last one was a jackass."

"Were they?" he asked as I opened the cash register, stuffing the bill in there. Later, I was going to have to fix it, because it was in the five dollar bill spot, and that would've drove my mother nuts if the twenty was over the fives, but right now, I really didn't care. It was going to have to do.

"He wasn't a major jackass, but he still sorta was," I shrugged, turning around and hopping up on the counter. "He just, wouldn't really give me much to work off of, and in the end, he just told me to get him some carnations."

In the end, Hannes ended up being victim to my ranting about the mystery customer. Whenever Mikasa wasn't here, he always had to listen to my ranting if there was a rude customer, and though this guy wasn't that rude, he was still rude in a way. I mean, I wanted to give him a flower that had meaning, and something that the friend he was giving it to might actually like and I thought I hit the jackpot, but then he turns me down and tells me to get him some carnations?

Hannes only started laughing at me because of how I was making such a big deal out of this, and eventually, I just gave up. Hannes went to go water some of the plants in the back room, even after I told him I already watered most of them, but he insisted, and left me alone in the front just in case a customer came in while he was back there.

"Hey," Hannes called out, the sound of the empty water sprinkler dropping echoing throughout the shop. "How 'bout we close up now, and I can drive you up to go see your mom?"

"Alright, sounds good to me," I jumped off the counter and began removing my apron as Hannes reemerged from the back room. His apron was already off, and he already had his coat on, with mine in hand, as if he  _knew_  I was going to say yes. "What flowers should we bring up?"

"Your call, kid," he grinned, throwing my coat in my direction. "Grab some while I lock up."

I caught it, throwing my apron to him in return before shrugging the material on, also going through the possible flowers I could bring up to my mom. I could just bring up lilies, since those were her favorite, but she enjoyed the meanings more, not which ones she thought were the prettiest. And forget-me-nots were out of the question since Mikasa already brought those up to her.

Jasmines were pretty, but they meant "grace and elegance". My mother was clumsy, and rarely graceful; so it wouldn't make much sense to bring her up some jasmines. I still made a note to bring them up to her sometime with some other type of flower along with it.

But, larkspurs would be nice. They were pretty, and also meant "beautiful spirit" - and I believed that my mother had one of the most beautiful spirits of them all (no matter how cheesy that may sound). She was always trying her best and pushing through whatever she could, no matter how difficult it may be. Like, now, how she was trying to push through her sickness, and when dad left us too; she was still trying, and never gave up.

Larkspurs it is.

I grabbed eight larkspurs before joining Hannes again, who was standing by the back door, waiting for me to go. "These okay?" I asked. I didn't really need Hannes' opinion, and if he said no, I wasn't going to go back and look for a different kind; he was going to have to deal with it.

"Yeah, I think your mother will love 'em."

Hannes unlocked his car and told me to hop in while he closed the back door. I did, being careful of the flowers as I pulled my seat belt on and closed the door. Typically, I wouldn't wear a seat belt, but I learned to wear one whenever I was in the car with either my mother, Hannes, Mikasa or Armin because they would always get on me if I didn't put it on. And, now that I think of it, those were about the only people I was ever in a car with. Even if Jean was picking me up for something (which was extremely rare), Armin was normally there, and he would know if I didn't put it on.

It didn't take long for Hannes to join me and pull his own seat belt on before starting up the car. A song came on, one I've never heard before, and I commented on it, because Hannes listened to the weirdest shit the human race has been "graced" with. And he turned it around on me, saying that the stuff I listened to was pretty weird, weirder than what he listened to. It took up a good eight minutes or the ride to the hospital, whereas silence filled the car, besides the music, for the rest of it.

I looked out the window once the conversation died off, watching the trees and buildings pass by, letting my mind wander off.

My mother and I, whenever we went somewhere together, would either chat each other's ears off, or not utter a single word to one another, and it wasn't because we were upset, or had a fight recently - which, rarely happened, and whenever it did, it was  _bad_. The times when we didn't speak, there would be soft music playing, normally my mother's choice, and I would watch the trees pass by. I felt more connected to my mother that way; when we didn't talk, but could still enjoy one another's company and smile at random times, as if one of us said something funny. My father thought it was crazy, that we would just start laughing randomly even after not talking to one another for a good half hour, but, it wasn't really, even if Mikasa thought it was a little odd to (that was before we started getting close, though).

I also couldn't help but wonder where my father ran off to, even if I was pissed with him beyond belief (but not as much as Mikasa). There was always that nagging little voice in the back of my head that said he never wanted anything to do with us anyway, and finally couldn't take it and just left. I knew he cared about my mother, though, if anything. Maybe he just couldn't take living with just me and Mikasa alone.

My phone stated to buzz in my pocket, interrupting my thoughts. I pulled it out, noticing it was a text message from Mikasa.

**From: Mikasa**

**When are you coming up? I told Mom you were, and now she's starting to wonder.**

I smiled; typical mom.

**To: Mikasa**

**i'm on my way up now, hannes is giving me a ride so expect him too**

"Who's that?"

I glanced over to Hannes, seeing that he was motioning to my phone. "Oh, it's just Mikasa. She was wondering when I was coming up, because Mom's now asking her when and stuff."

"Carla never was very patient."

I chuckled and couldn't agree with him more. My mother was probably one of the least patient people in the world, and I've witnessed it many times, as has Hannes and Mikasa.

My phone soon vibrated again, alerting me of Mikasa's reply.

**From: Mikasa**

**Alright, see you soon.**

There was a time when Mikasa's name in my phone had been "Mi Casa", but, I had to change it when she saw it. She wasn't angry, per say, she just punched me in the arm and told me to change it, or else she would throw the device out. I knew it was an empty threat, but you never wanted to test Mikasa's boundaries. It wasn't even fair, I had seen that my name in her phone was "Baby Bro", and it angered me. I didn't like when she called me her baby brother, and having that as my contact name in her phone made it much worse, in my opinion. And all she was in my phone was "Mikasa".

It would change eventually, once I thought of something.

It only took fifteen more minutes until Hannes was pulling into the hospital's parking lot, and in the span of fifteen minutes, my mind had began to wander off again, more precisely, to the last customer of the day.

I don't know why he bothered me so much, but he did. His blue eyes bothered me, his hair bothered me, his suit bothered me, the way his tie complimented his eyes bothered me, his attitude bothered me -

Overall,  _he_  bothered me.

But, as I got out of the car with Hannes once he parked, I came to the conclusion that I would never have to see him ever again, so it didn't matter; I could simply forget about him and move on with my life, because I never had to see his face ever again.

But I was wrong, I was so very,  _very_  wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was very difficult to get flowing so I hope it turned out okay!! and Levi'll definitely appear more in the next chapter, or the one after that, and they'll actually interact more so yeah ;w;


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a pregnant pause, followed by a soft sounding sigh; a defeated sounding sigh. "Honestly, Eren, I don't think she will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to get this out last Monday, but, it's Wednesday, nine days later! I hope this is okay, and you guys don't feel like it's moving too fast? this chapter was just necessary so yeah uwu hope it's alright!

"Eren, Hannes!"

There were times when, visiting, my mother was energetic as can be, and it was odd and overall, surprised me, because there were days where she wouldn't talk at all, and slept the whole while we were there, or just barely said a word to us. It reminded me of the days when I was little and she would chase me around the house, or I would chase her until my father rolled his eyes and told us to stop, but there was always a smile on his face when he said this, and it made me long for those days again, when we had a happy family and nothing went wrong. And on days like these, I thought my mother would just jump out of the hospital bed and run on out and never look back - and she has attempted that before. It was a day that Armin was tagging along with us; he came up often with us to visit her, if not more often than we did, because, he's told me that he feels like his mother is his own mother sometimes, after spending so much time at our house when we were little, so he feels obligated to make sure she's okay and let her know he's worried about her (and that is only one of the reasons that makes him such a good person).

We were just sitting there, talking about whatever came to mind, mostly just whatever happened the previous week, and there was some rustling, and when we looked over, my mother was already standing on shaky legs. We told her to lay back down before she got in trouble, or fell and hurt herself, but she refused and said she couldn't take it here anymore. She had only been there for three weeks, and was starting to get a little better, but I could see how she couldn't take it here any longer - my mother couldn't sit in place for long if she was forced to. And, in the end, when she was already half way out the door, we had to get the nurse to help us get her back in bed.

But, today, there was a small smile turning her lips upwards, and it almost reached her eyes. It made me happy to see she could still smile, even if it wasn't that much, but, when she gets better, and out of here, I plan on making sure she returns to smiling most of the time, like she used to.

"Hey, Mom!"

"Hey, Carla," Hannes greeted, walking up to one of the empty chairs beside her bed. "You seem to be looking good, as always."

My mother rolled her eyes, but I saw how her smile grew a bit wider. "Always have been the charming one."

I locked my gaze with Mikasa's as Hannes' laugh filled the room. She frowned a little, and there was something in her eyes - but I couldn't quite tell what it was, so I mouthed, _'What's wrong?'_

She parted her lips, as if she was going to say something, her brows furrowing together, and then shook her head, deciding against it and looked off to the side.

I sighed. I knew Mikasa, inside and out, but lately, there were times where she wouldn't give me much to go off of, and was starting to get harder to read. It didn't take me long to figure out how to read her, but it was like she was putting up the walls and blocking me out; I wasn't sure why she was doing such, but it also was starting to upset me. She was fine earlier when she came to get the forget-me-nots, and actually looked a little bit happier than she has been, now that I think of it. She hasn't been looking that happy around me, or anyone, lately, and it was difficult to tell when she was happy from when she was not, most of the time, but I could still tell. Armin could too.

"Hey, Mom," I interrupted the conversation going between Hannes and my mother, and tore my gaze away from my sister. Her eyes landed on me, urging me silently to continue. I held up the flowers that were still in my hands. "I brought you some Larkspurs."

Her gaze flickered from me to the flowers, and I saw how her eyes widened a bit in surprise, as if she hadn't noticed them. Typically, we tried not to bring up flowers that were considered garden ones, and my mother had tried not to have garden flowers in her shop (all flowers typically could be garden flowers, but there were certain ones only meant for the garden), but somehow, they managed to end up there. Which, wasn't surprising; my mother had every single flower known to mankind in her flower shop, it felt like.

Not many people bought these sort of flowers separately, but they asked to have them in their bouquet, like a filler (which is exactly what they could do, and were meant to do). And they had to be treated very carefully; my mother always reminded me and the customers to be careful with them.

"I brought these up because they mean "beautiful spirit" and, well-" I knew she already knew what they meant, but she enjoyed listening to us tell her what they meant, because that meant we actually listened to her long rants about flowers. My dad never really did, even if he said otherwise, so it meant a lot to her to know that we did.

"They're beautiful, Eren, thank you," she cut me off, and I was sort of thankful she did because, I love her a lot, but saying it out loud that I thought my mother had a beautiful spirit sounded sort of sappy (actually, major sappy; like a suck up or something).

I went to go put them in one of the empty vases near the window, slipping them in and pitching the plastic that once surrounded them. It came to me, as I made sure they looked okay, that I really didn't need the plastic, since I was just going to take it off and put it in a vase when I got here, anyway. Well, too late for that now.

My mother had started going on about something to Hannes as I plopped down in the empty seat next to Mikasa. Her gaze was still focused on something in the room, and a soft sigh escaped her. There was definitely something up, and I knew here wasn't the place to ask, but, I did it anyway.

Nudging her in the ribs got her full attention. I looked over to see Hannes had his full attention on my mother, and my mother's was all on him, and they were talking about something, but I wasn't sure what. I looked back to Mikasa then, when I was sure they were in deep conversation, and whispered, "Seriously, what's bothering you?"

There were only two people I'd bother asking if they were alright, and those two people were Mikasa and Armin, excluding my mother. Well, that sort of had to do with the fact that they were my only friends.

She stared at me for a moment, and I tried searching her eyes for something,  _anything_ , but there was nothing, absolutely nothing. And, "Nothing" was all I got out of her.

I gave up; there wasn't much more I could do but pester her, and I knew that wouldn't work either, because I've tried it in the past and failed. It was only on rare days that it actually worked.

Mikasa, nor me, said much the rest of the visit, it was mostly just Hannes telling my mother about what was going on lately in his life, and my mother would give him a smile and nod, urging him to continue. He would laugh, and roll his eyes at something he said, and my mother would give a soft chuckle here and there. It was nice to see my mother looking happy, even if it wasn't as much as she used to; it was still a major start.

* * *

"She always tells me to stop spoiling her, and I keep telling her that I'm not. I tell her it's just loving her, a whole extra lot, but she swears up and down it's spoiling."

Hannes was now on a totally different subject now, changing it up only five minutes ago. He was going on about his wife, and how she wasn't appreciating how he was "spoiling" their adopted daughter, Gracie. She was only five years old, and was going to be six in July. The few times I've seen her, which was mostly around holidays, she would remind me plenty of times how old she was going to be and when her birthday was. She always held up her fingers to show how old she was, as if it helped.

_"Eren, do you 'member when my birfday is?" She was only four, and could talk relatively well, but the only thing she really couldn't pronounce was her "th" sounds; she rather substituted them for "f" sounds, or just "t" sounds._

_"Now how could I forget?" She grinned, clasping her tiny hands together in front of her flowery dress, leaning back on her heels as she waited for me to continue. I bent down to her height and reached out to gently poke her nose. "It's in a few days, isn't it? July 17th?"_

_She nodded her head happily, her smile threatening to split her freckled face in two. There were times, like these, when she was smiling so widely, when I wondered how she ended up in the orphanage, and if she remembers anything. She was adopted at the young age of two, so she knew her parents, but it was for such a short time before she was swept away from them. I wanted to know why; did they die, or did they just not want her anymore?_

_Now, I knew that couldn't possibly be true; maybe they were going through a tough time. Or something like that._

_Leaning forward on her toes, she brought her hands up to rest them on my shoulders, bouncing up a bit, "Yeah! And do ya know how old m'gonna be?"_

_"Now that's a tricky one." I knew how old she was, I knew she was going to be five and I knew how excited she was for it, because at Easter time, a few months back, she literally wouldn't shut up about turning five, and how she was starting to get bigger and could finally drive - which was nonsense, but, Hannes, nor his wife, dared to correct her, so I didn't either (but it was going to be_   _really depressing when she couldn't actually drive, though, I knew Hannes had something up his sleeve for that, so I knew it would work out in the end). "Wanna remind me?"_

_She huffed, her brown bangs blowing up in the process, and I could tell she was clearly upset that I forgot, but she always loved telling people how old she was going to be. Nonetheless, she pulled her hands back and held up one of them, extending and distancing her fingers from one another as far as they would go. "Five!"_

_"Gosh, you're gettin' old there, missy."_

_It was refreshing to hear her giggle; it was refreshing to hear any kid laugh, and I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face._

_She leaned up to poke my nose in return, speaking in between her giggles. "Not as old as you, mister!"_

"Eren?"

I snapped out of my thoughts at my name being called, blinking a few times before looking at my mother, the source of who said it. She looked a bit concerned, and if I looked around, Hannes and Mikasa both had their eyes on me as well.

I smiled a little sheepishly, "Sorry, I was zoning out for a minute - did you say something?"

She sighed; it was obvious she did, and I knew she never really liked repeating herself. "I asked you and Mikasa if you've heard from your father. Mikasa said she hasn't, but I wanted to know if you did."

I saw out of the corner of my eye the look that appeared on Mikasa's face at the second (from what I understood) mention of my father, the look of disgust, of how she wanted to bash him in the face for leaving us. I didn't think much of it though, because that was the look that always surfaced when he was mentioned, so I just grew used to it.

"Oh."

The room grew quiet, and I saw the hurt look on my mother's face. It pained me to see how much she was hurting from the fact that he left, and hasn't even bothered to come up and make sure she was okay. The day we told her that he had just uped and left overnight, she didn't really believe it, and swore up and down that he wouldn't do that. Mikasa told me later, when we were going home, that she apparently doesn't know her husband because he took a suitcase and some of his other belongings and left.

My mother wanted to believe that he would return, and she believed that he would - but it's been three months and we haven't seen him or heard from him since he left.

She just wouldn't give up.

"I.." I knew there was no way around it; there was no point in lying, especially to my mother who managed to see right through my lies and smacked me upside the head whenever I lied straight to her face. She said that it was disappointing that I had to stoop so low to lie to your own mother, and it was one of the most effective things to say to a six year old. I rarely ever lied to her from then on out, and when I did, I always received something.

It was no use. "No, I haven't."

Her face fell, and she sunk further into her pillow, which is the exact reaction I had been expecting and the one I honestly didn't want to see. The room had grown quiet once again, and I felt like shit because my mother still loved him a lot, and refused to give up on him. It was depressing, seeing her so bent up on making sure he returned, on hoping that he would, that he actually hadn't left us.

The silence was beginning to become uncomfortable, and it stretched out longer than I expected it to. My mother had closed her eyes, and I wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep or not, and Hannes had leaned back in his chair, a hand running through his blond strands.

It wasn't much longer into the silence when Mikasa stood up and announced, "I need to head out, my shift starts soon."

I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to leave with her, or Hannes, but I decided to go with her; and I knew I was going to feel bad about it later because it was looking as if we didn't want to stay any longer because Dad was brought up - and it was part of the reason. Okay it was the reason, I couldn't really deny that.

"Can I go with you?" I asked, gaining my sister's attention as she slipped her coat on. "I'm starting to feel a little tired."

It was the best excuse I could think of, and I knew if my mother had her eyes open and was looking at me, she'd be able to tell that I wasn't that tired I felt the need to go home. I just didn't want to be here anymore, because my mother was clearly upset, and I didn't want to see her cry.

"Yeah," she muttered, pulling her scarf up a little more after she pulled on her gloves. Once done, she walked over to Mom and bent over, pressing a light kiss to her cheek. "We'll be up again soon, I promise. Hopefully tomorrow."

I saw my mother nod a bit, and her lips parted to say something, but I couldn't quite hear if anything came out of her mouth.

Once Mikasa moved away, I got up and walked up to my mother, leaning over to press a kiss to her other cheek. It's what Mikasa and I have been doing, ever since she was admitted; instead of giving hugs, in fear of hugging too tight on days she was in pain, we kissed her cheek and then said our goodbyes, and she didn't really seem to mind either way.

My mother opened her eyes as I pulled away, and I saw a strained smile appear on her face; she always did those types of smiles whenever she was hurting, upset, and just wanted everyone to know she was going to be okay and that they didn't need to worry any about her.

I wasn't sure what to say to her. I was never good with words, so all I could really give in return was a half smile of my own.

I didn't really want to leave; I wanted to stay until she got better and could get out of bed again and really smile, I wanted to stay until the doctor came in with this idiotic looking smile and said that she was better and overcame her sickness and was to be discharged in a day.

Life didn't work out that way.

Mikasa wished Hannes a goodnight, which I nodded to, and with that, we were off, leaving my mother with Hannes for the rest of the night.

The whole walk to the elevator, the ride down in it, and out of the hospital, to the car, was as quiet as can be. Besides, there wasn't anything to even talk about, except, whatever had been bothering her earlier in the hospital room. I knew she wouldn't just tell me, though, so it was pointless to try and pry it out of her right now when all I felt like doing was sleeping for fifty years.

Mikasa's eyes were trained on the road before her, and her knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. I frowned, feeling the need to ask her what was wrong, but nothing ever came out. All I did was sigh and look out the window to watch everything pass me by at a speed that seemed to be faster than the speed limit was, but I didn't care.

Mikasa started talking soon enough, anyway.

"She's getting worse."

I blinked, looking back over to her to see she was still looking ahead and her facial expression hadn't changed whatsoever. If I looked close enough, I could see that she was gripping the steering wheel just a little tighter.

"What?"

"She's getting worse, Eren," she repeated, and there was a biting tone to her words when she said it this time. "I spoke with the doctor earlier before you and Hannes got there, and he told me that she's only getting worse."

It was like everything just came crashing down; not that long ago, the doctor told us that she was making progress, that everything was looking good and he had faith that she was going to make it. But now he was saying she was only getting worse?

"But she-"

"Goddamn it," she growled, brow knitting together as she made a sharp turn onto our street. "He didn't say it was anything to fret over, because it wasn't that much of a change. But I thought you would still want to know."

I grew quiet, turning the thought over in my mind before asking, "Then why did you act like it was huge five seconds ago?"

"Because it is," she sighed, and I noticed her grip loosen on the steering wheel. "He was talking down to me and acting like it wasn't that huge, but I knew it was. It was obvious in the words he was using to explain it."

The car slowed down to a stop as she pulled into our driveway, and she put the car in park. I know she was only here to drop me off, because she had to go to her second job and wouldn't be back until midnight or later, though, there wasn't much I could do about that unless I wanted the both of us to be living on the streets and struggling even more so to pay the hospital bills.

My head felt like it was spinning, but I still asked, "Do you think she'll get better?"

There was a pregnant pause, followed by a soft sounding sigh; a  _defeated_  sounding sigh. "Honestly, Eren, I don't think she will."

Just a few days ago Mikasa was saying that she would make it out, that she would overcome this and would come home and everything would be okay in the end. Now, she was just giving up on her when she deserved more credit than that; I knew my mother wouldn't give up that easily, and knowing that Mikasa was giving up on her so easily upset me to no end.

I stumbled out of the car after a moment of unbuckling and searching for the handle, and didn't listen to Mikasa as I slammed the door shut. I didn't want to talk to her right now; I wanted to go to my room and sleep, and when I wake up, everything will be okay.

"Eren!" She had opened her car door as I started fumbling for the house key, slipping it in the hole and turning it as fast as I could. How dare she; she grew up with her, she even said that she felt like a real mother to her, and could actually call her her mother, so why, why was she giving up that easily? Did she just stop caring?

She called my name again, but I slammed the door shut and locked it without a second thought, tears of frustration rolling down my cheeks. I wanted to scream at her, to remind her how she could've been stuck in an orphanage for the rest of her life and never would have felt what it was like to have a family again if it wasn't for her. I leaned up against the door and soon slid down to the floor, and as I sat there, I came to a final conclusion.

Life really was undeniably cruel.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As I pulled up a seat to sit down in behind the counter, a woman with glasses on came in to the shop with her brown hair up in a high, messy ponytail. There was a smile on her face, and it was a pure stark contrast compared to the grumpy short man beside her, with a frown clear on his face-
> 
> A face that I've seen before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! it's been a heck of a long time since I last updated, and I'm super sorry about that- I've had major writer's block with this story it's unbelievable. But, hopefully that's over with now!! ;w;

I didn't sleep very well that night.

I remember getting up from my place at the door about a half hour later and dragging myself to bed, my feet trudging against the floor and the whole while, I was only starting to get angrier. It upset me because my mother didn't deserve this abandonment she was receiving; after everything she's done for us, after everything she's given us, my father hikes up and leaves and now Mikasa is starting to give up on her getting better - it just felt like my whole family was falling apart, and I didn't know what to do to keep it together.

I tried sleeping once I fell down on my bed, but in the end, I just lied there for what felt like ages.

Mikasa came home around three in the morning (I had looked at the alarm clock sitting on my desk when I heard the front door close softly behind her). I heard her walking past my room, but there was a sudden stop, and I wasn't sure where she was, but it didn't matter, because soon enough she was walking again and I heard her bedroom door close with a soft click. It was only then that I managed to somehow drift off into what felt like a dreamless sleep, even though it wasn't that long.

I felt off the following two days, whereas Mikasa was working, both at the flower shop and her second job. I didn't see her as much as I normally would, and I was sort of glad for it. I didn't want to see her, or speak to her, and the longer it was kept off, the better.

Maybe I was acting a little childish with my behavior, but she also wasn't making any chance to talk to me either.

I spent Sunday doing nothing but lying down in my bed and replaying the scene over and over; first it was Mikasa and how she admitted to believing that she would never get better, and the look on her face - she didn't show much emotion when she said it, but I knew she had to be feeling  _something;_ she couldn't have been feeling nothing, I knew Mikasa better than that (at least, I believed I did).

The next scene that kept haunting me was my mother's face, and how defeated she looked when I told her I hadn't heard from Dad at all.

I knew she was upset, and I knew I couldn't do much to help that, to make it better, even though I really wished I could. The only thing that would manage to make it better would be telling her that, "yes, I've heard from Dad, Mom, and he's sorry that he left without telling anyone, and he's coming up to see you as soon as he can so no worries there, yeah?" It wasn't as easy as that, though, as much as I hated to admit it.

On Monday, I got out of bed to shower, and it was one of the longest showers of my life, but damn did it feel good to just stand there as the warm droplets of water hit my body. It felt good to be able to just stand there, and not worry about everything that was going on in my life right now (even though I knew I shouldn't stay in there too long because Mikasa and I were paying for the water bill and we couldn't  _afford_  just standing in the shower like I was, but honestly, I could have cared less). It just felt good to let the worries wash away, along with the stress that had been sitting on my shoulders for months now, what really felt like years.

Once I finally dragged myself out of the shower and threw a towel around my waist, I found that Armin had texted me - 3 times, actually.

**From: Armin**

_So I went up to see your mom today and she seemed pretty happy!_

**From: Armin**

_She did ask me where you were though. Mikasa came up on Sunday, and she came in while I was there, actually, but she said that she hasn't seen you in particular since Saturday._

**From: Armin**

_Make sure you at least let her know you're alive, Eren._

Both nights, Sunday and Monday, Mikasa came home late, and the following morning she would leave home early. It was a normal routine, but there would normally be some sort of note, or she would text me at some point during the day, and sometimes drop by for something. But, I haven't gotten anything, and I don't care, to be frank. I know I should, but if she was going to avoid me the way she was, then so be it.

It was when Tuesday rolled around that I had to leave my house to go to work, and I was almost late for it because my alarm never went off - but I was silently glad that Armin never did call me, like he said he was going to make a habit of. Yeah,  _right._

It was relatively cold when I left the house, which was five minutes before my shift started, and it was colder than it had been on Saturday, I noted. It sucked, but I wasn't going to run back in for a scarf when the shop wasn't even two blocks away. Mikasa would have ran back in herself if she was there with me, but, she wasn't, and I was sort of glad for that too.

When I got to the shop, I was greeted with a gust of warm air, and the tips of my ears and nose were severely thankful for it.

"'Bout time you showed up, kid!"

Hannes poked his head from around the corner, a grin gracing his features the moment his eyes fell on me. "Been wondering if you weren't gonna show up or what," he laughed. "We've been surprisingly busy today, so hurry and get your apron on and come help me out here."

I groaned and closed the back door before even thinking about taking off my coat. There were days this place was as vacant as the desert, and then it was as busy as New York City. And of course, today, it had to be busy.

Quickly, I pulled on my apron and walked out to join Hannes, only to find Mikasa talking to a customer.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

I didn't want to deal with Mikasa right now. Sure, she was talking to a customer and would probably keep her mind on work, but all in all I was still pissed at her.

Perhaps, I shouldn't be as upset as I was; maybe I was just overreacting and she was just having a crisis on Saturday night and it slipped out of her mouth without her really intending for it to. Maybe, she didn't mean it.

But, there wasn't much time to dwell on the thought, because the door to the shop opened, the bell ringing to signal another customer was coming in.

"Aw, Levi, c'mon, I need to grab a bouquet! It'll only take a second, so stop your whining."

"I'm not whining, shitty glasses."

As I pulled up a seat to sit down in behind the counter, a woman with glasses on came in to the shop with her brown hair up in a high, messy ponytail. There was a smile on her face, and it was a pure stark contrast compared to the grumpy short man beside her, with a frown clear on his face-

A face that I've seen before.

I remember seeing him on Saturday, which was only a few days ago, so it baffled me seeing him again in just a few days time. Yet, he didn't look as surprised to see me, which, why would he be anyway, and kept his gaze focused on a bouquet as his friend came to a stop before me and gave me a kind smile.

"Hello! I need a new bouquet that oh, I dunno, gives off a happy vibe?" she said.

"Anything in particular?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Whatever you think is best."

I nodded and pushed myself away from the counter, holding up a finger to them and then disappeared in the back room.

I didn't feel like I had the "flower groove" today (my mother called it that, and would always tug on my ear when I was feeling down and not in the "flower groove" and tell me to spill the beans so she could lift my spirits). Normally, I'd know exactly what flower to grab and I'd feel pleased with myself, but really, I kind of felt clueless.

A flower that gives off a happy vibe? Don't they all give off a happy vibe in their own right? I mean, really.

I was scanning the room as I heard footsteps come up from behind me, and out of the corner of my eye I saw it was Hannes. He walked into the room, and got to work with wrapping up a bouquet of daisies for his customer, which, I didn't know he was tending to any customers, so it surprised me a little.

"What're you doing?"

Hannes looked over his shoulder at me and grinned. "My job? What does it look like, kid?"

I shrugged my shoulders in response, and he laughed. When he was done with wrapping up the flowers, he left the room, but not without ruffling up my hair. Typically, I would throw a fit (even though my hair was always a mess, and ruffling it up wasn't that big of a deal because it really didn't look that much different), but I was focused.

Daisies.

Daisies.

"Daisies it is," I clapped my hands together and walked towards the daisies. I was about to grab a few of them to wrap up, but I stopped myself, and looked at the colorful daisies beside the plain ones.

 _Colorful_  daisies it is.

I went through the normal routine of wrapping up the flowers before leaving the room, and when I got back to the front desk, the woman and man were still there, bickering it seemed.

"I hope this pleases you," I piped up, stopping whatever argument they were having (though it seemed to be irritation more on the man's part than anything, but of course, that was just a hypothetical guess).

"Oh, those are splendid! Perfect, thank you," she grinned, reaching into her pocket to pull out some cash. "How much will it cost?"

"12.99," I replied.

She handed me the money, along with a few extra bucks, adding, "Keep the change."

I grinned. "Thank you!"

I expected to them to have left by the time I had put the money into the cash register, and the few extra bills into my apron, but when I looked back up, the woman was looking around, and the man looked even more agitated than before. He was glaring at her, as if he was silently saying "Come the fuck on, I want to leave already."

The woman looked back to me then, tilting her head to the side a bit. "Where's the woman who always works here?"

"Pardon me?"

"She has brown hair, it's always in a side ponytail?" she described, lifting her hands up to show an imaginary side ponytail on herself. "Oh, she's so sweet, gosh what's her name? It's..." She trailed off, scratching her head in thought. "It's on the tip of my tongue... Carla! Carla, that was her name."

"Oh," I laughed softly, a little awkwardly though. "That's my mom, she's in the hospital right now because she's sick and it got worse. Really... yeah."

"Aw, I hope she gets better," she frowned and all I could do was look away.

I saw Mikasa out of the corner of my eye, with her head hung and her lips pressed tightly together, as if she was trying to not say anything and butt in the conversation. And, if I knew her, I knew she wouldn't, she was polite enough to not do that.

"Oh!" the woman perked up suddenly, and I jumped at the sudden raise in her voice. "Would you want to come with me and my friend out to lunch? I want to ask you a few questions about your mother, if that's okay, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to get to know you."

"Uh," I reached up to rub the back of my neck, chewing on my bottom lip in thought. I literally just met this woman, and she wants me to go out to lunch with her and her friend?

By the looks of her friend, though, I didn't feel very invited.

"I dunno, I mean I don't even know your name-"

"I'm Hanji," she interrupted, and then gestured to the man standing beside her. "And this is Levi."

Oh, so his name really was Levi (of course it would be Levi, Eren, people don't just say random names when talking to someone).

"I still don't know, I gotta work and I highly doubt Hannes'll let me go-"

"'Course I will!" Hannes walked in then, dying his hands off with a towel. "I overheard, so you can go early, Eren. Besides, I got Mikasa here. We'll be just fine."

I groaned. God, I just can't stop getting interrupted, can I?

"I guess I can then, if you're sure you want me to come."

"The more the merrier! Right, Levi?"

Levi grunted, "Whatever."

Hanji turned back to me, waving her hand in a dismissal manner. "Don't mind him, he's just a grumpy pants."

Levi rolled his eyes. I looked at him for a moment once he looked off to the side, and thought about it; I thought this guy had really nice eyes, and he was really handsome, so maybe spending time with him and Hanji might not be such a bad idea? I mean, maybe it could turn out good if I go, or, of course, it could turn out for the worse.

It'll probably turn out for the worse, this is me we're talking about.

"Go get your coat!" Hanji shooed me away, reaching over the counter to give me a little push. "We'll be waiting right here!"

I frowned and took one last glance between the two of them before giving up completely. "Alright, I'll be right back."

As I went to go grab my coat, I made eye contact with Mikasa, and I could see the need to talk to me in her eyes, and it was made clear when she parted her lips to mouth,  _'We need to talk later.'_

It's felt like she's been ignoring me like the plague ever since she told me about my mother's - well,  _our_  mother's - condition. It pissed me off, it really did, and I  _really_  didn't want to talk to her, even though it's been a few days, and I've had time to cool down, but, I wasn't sure in the end what was the best idea to do.

I looked away with a shake of my head and went to grab my coat.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh my god-- _Eren?_ Is that you?"
> 
> I blinked and looked down at her name tag. "Christa" was what it read in bold letters, and that's when it hit me.
> 
> " _Christa?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refused to go to bed until I finished this chapter, so I hope it's okay! (And I know flowers are being mentioned like every chapter, but they play a big part, and won't be mentioned every single chapter, hopefully, so yeah!)

The ride with Hanji and Levi was awkward, to say the least.

_Extremely_ awkward.

Hanji tried starting up a conversation, between all three of us, but neither Levi, nor myself, were really contributing to it, so it died off before it even managed to really start in the first place. She grew quiet, focusing her eyes on the road and occasionally saying a thing or two to Levi, to which he only grunted out a short reply, whereas I just kept my eyes trained on whatever was passing us to wherever we were going.

As trees, buildings and other cars passed us, I pondered on the thought of  _why_  I chose to go to lunch with them. All I knew about them was their names, and I didn't even know if they were "good" people, as in, they weren't kidnappers and didn't have a criminal record (my mom would literally have my head mantled on the wall for her to "tsk" at every time she walked by it if she found out I was in the car with kidnappers/criminals- but I'm an adult, I can make decisions for myself, so I shouldn't even care what she thinks, _if_ she ever finds out).

I glanced at the two in the front, first at Hanji, who was talking about something and making a one-handed gesture, and then at Levi, who seemed to be idly listening to her, focusing his eyes more on the road than her. No, they didn't really seem like the type to hold a past criminal record or be the kidnapping type.

I still felt uncomfortable; even if it was the slightest bit reassuring that they didn't look like criminals.

"Where do you want to go to lunch, Eren?" Hanji asked suddenly, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I shrugged, "It doesn't really matter to me, honestly."

"How about we go to  _Cosmo's_? I used to go there with our friend Petra all the time," Hanji said with a grin, drumming her fingers against the wheel. "It's got  _really_  good food, I can promise you that."

"Sounds good to me." It's not like I had much of a choice anyway.

Hanji looked over to Levi. "You okay with that?"

Levi sighed. "Yeah, that's fine."

"Whoo!" Hanji grinned, and the car came to a stop - an  _abrupt_  stop - at the red light. " _Cosmo's_  it is!"

I sighed and leaned back in my seat, turning my head to look back out the window. Surely, this lunch thing would be interesting.

* * *

 

It took us another fifteen or so minutes before we made it to  _Cosmo's_  (and honestly, I didn't think it was going to be that far, but maybe because of how far it is from my house is the reason I never went there, or heard of it, really). Hanji kept chattering even as we got out of the car and headed inside, and silently, I was thankful for it, because if it wasn't for her, the entire car ride would have been  _completely_  awkward, more so than it already was, and I'm not sure if I would've survived it.

Hanji led us to a booth seat in the back near a window. She slipped in first, sitting next to the window and then Levi slipped in beside her, leaving an entire booth to myself (which, again, I was thankful for). Shortly after I sat down and got myself situated, a waitress came over - she looked familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on who she was - and set down three glasses of water in front of each of us, as well as menus, though, she paused once she set my drink and menu down.

"Oh my god--  _Eren?_  Is that you?"

I blinked and looked down at her name tag.  _"Christa"_  was what it read in bold letters, and that's when it hit me.

" _Christa?_ "

"I haven't seen you in forever!" she cried, a wide smile soon shaping her lips. "Your hair's gotten longer."

I cracked a small smile, "So has yours."

She rolled her eyes, punching me playfully on the shoulder. "How've you been? I swear it's been like, _years,_ since I've last seen you! Well, felt like it at least."

"The usual," I shrugged. "What about you?"

"Pretty good, I guess," she said, glancing around the restaurant. "I got hired here a few weeks ago, and it's been going good so far, I gotta admit. The pay is good, and most of the customers are sweethearts; they make up for the jerks that I have to serve.” She looked back to me then. “Didn't even know this place existed until Ymir suggested it, but I thought I'd give it a try."

"Neither did I, but hey, how are things going with you and Ymir? Still dating?"

A soft pink crept up onto her cheeks, and I couldn't help but grin a little more. "Yeah, we are. We're actually going out to the movies once my shift ends," Christa admitted. “It’s crazy, really.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You guys are cute together, just saying.”

She glared at me, albeit playfully, before she looked over at Hanji and Levi. Frowning a bit, she glanced over to me, raising an eyebrow as if to say, 'Who are these people?'

"Oh, this is Hanji," I gestured to her, and she perked up, waving at Christa with a smile. She waved back, and I gestured over to Levi. "And this is Levi."

"Well, it's nice to meet you guys!" Christa smiled, reaching into her apron to pull out her notepad and pen. "Probably should get back to work though before my boss yells at me for slacking, so, what can I get for you guys?"

"Me and Levi here will take a Colossal burger," Hanji said, closing up her menu.

Christa scribbled down on her notepad, and then looked up at me. "You, Eren?"

I took a minute to shift through the menu, looking over the choices before I closed it. "Uh, I guess I'll just have what they're having."

Christa nodded, slipping her notepad back into her apron and then she grabbed our menus. "You'll like it," she whispered to me with a wink. "And I'll be back with everyone's burgers in a few!"

Once Christa was out of hearing distance, a playful smile appeared on Hanji's face and she propped her elbows up on the table, leaning forward a little. She spoke in a teasing tone, "So, who was she? Perhaps, an ex-girlfriend?"

I shook my head. "Nah, just a friend. Her girlfriend would've had my head if I even had a crush on her, much less dated her before they got together."

"She's cute though," Hanji commented, and Levi elbowed her in the side. She frowned, looking over at Levi with a hurt expression. "Hey! What was that for?"

"Shut up, will you? You're annoying me."

"Aw, no I’m not!"

I looked between the two and wondered how they were friends. It was clear that Levi didn't enjoy being around Hanji all too much, and, not only that, but they were the exact opposite from one another. Hanji appeared to be more outgoing and spontaneous, the happy to be alive kind of person, whereas Levi was quiet, rude, and didn't seem to be the happiest person on the earth. They didn't look as if they shared  _anything_  in common.

But, maybe that's the reason why they were friends.

They were different from one another, and having a friend who is actually like yourself would probably be a little boring (probably  _way_  more than a little boring, but, whatever). Maybe that was the beauty of not sharing anything in common, because you could introduce your friend to things, and they could do the same with you. It kept things interesting, well, it does with Armin and I at least.

Just like my mom always said; opposites attract, in all kinds of relationships.

I shook my head; maybe I'm just thinking too deeply into this. Like,  _seriously_ , Eren? Does it matter? (The answer is no, no it does  _not_  matter so stop thinking about it.)

Another few minutes passed before Christa came over with our food, apologizing for the wait (even though it wasn't that long at all). "Things are crazy back there,” she said as she set down a burger in front of everyone. “Greasy Jim is yelling at Susan because she dropped the burgers he just made, and it’s just nuts, really.”

“ _Greasy_ Jim?”

“Yeah,” Christa sighed, shaking her head. “He thinks he’s original with it, but, he’s not. There have been a lot, and I mean a lot, of people who’ve used that as their ‘name’ or whatever.” There was a loud clash, and Christa closed her eyes. “These guys are so sweet, but they’re such a pain sometimes.”

“Hang in there, man,” I said, and she rolled her eyes.

“I’m trying, but, yeah, you guys enjoy your food, and lemme know if you need anything! I gotta go take care of things in the kitchen, so, I’ll be back!” She grinned, and waved at us, turning on her heel but after a step or two, she stopped, turning around again. “Oh, and Eren, we seriously need to get the whole gang together again and hang out or something-- I can’t go this long without seeing everyone! Text me sometime, so we can work out details and run ‘em by the others!”

“Will do!”

With that said, Christa left us for the time being, and it was just Levi, Hanji and I again.

“Dig in!” Hanji exclaimed, and that’s what we all did.

Honestly, I didn’t think I was as hungry as I was, but, thankfully, this burger was fucking _huge_ , and I mean _huge_. It was insane how big this burger was, but they probably didn’t call it the “Colossal burger” for nothing.

And this burger tasted _heavenly._

I tried not to devour the whole thing in one bite, I tried to eat it reasonably and not be a complete slob but seriously, who knew that this would actually taste that good (and my stomach was demanding to be fed).

“Like it?” Hanji asked as I took another bite of it. I nodded, and she grinned. “Thought you would! Everyone likes the Colossal burger, everyone that I know does, at least.”

That was no surprise to me.

“Even Levi likes them! Don’t you, Levi?” Hanji nudged her friend in the side, and he glared at her, as if he was daring her to do it again.

“ _Eat,_ ” was the one worded command.

Hanji never did ask me about my mother, and to be frank, I was kind of glad she didn’t. I didn’t want to really think about how she was beginning to get worse, and all the drama because of it; it was just nice to have lunch and wind down – it was nice just to forget about everything for a while.

Instead, she went through with asking me about myself, just as she said she wanted to.

“So, Eren,” Hanji began, setting her half-finished burger back down on its plate. “Why do you work at your mother’s flower shop, anyway?”

I paused before shrugging a little, pulling the burger away from my face so I could talk.

“When I was little I would just walk there after school, and hang out with my mom and she would just…” I trailed off, frowning a little. Even if I didn’t have to think about her sickness, bringing up memories was still a little too close to home and it _hurt_ , thinking about it, because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make more memories with her at the flower shop and it was killing me to face that reality.

I was getting frustrated with myself, thinking about the memories, but it was too late to push them away when they were already at the front of my mind, demanding to be remembered.

“She would tell me about all these kinds of flowers, and the meanings behind them, when was the right time to give someone that sort of flower, and it just…” I sighed, and ran my fingers through my hair. “It felt like home, I guess.”

Once I finished, it was silent, between the three of us. I didn’t know what else to say, so I put my burger down and pulled my hands back and into my lap, wiping them on my pants.

It really hit me hard, because I really missed the carefree days of childhood with Mom, and then Mikasa when I had gotten a little older (and Armin has always been there, ever since I could remember).

“How sweet is that,” Hanji murmured, a soft smile playing on her face. “Flowers must mean a lot to you then, huh?”

“Yeah, they do.”

I glanced over at Levi then, realizing that whenever I was talking, it was just with Hanji, and that he had barely spoken since we entered the restaurant.

He looked a little troubled, as if he was thinking about something, but I didn’t want to ask. I never got the chance to anyway, because his voice broke the silence that was starting to drag on.

“Do you have a favorite flower?”

He moved his gaze to my own, and I wasn’t sure what emotion was swimming in his eyes, but I wanted to say that it was curiosity, that he actually wanted to know, and I had a feeling I was right.

I laughed lightly. “There are so many, it’s hard to choose. But, Freesias are nice.”

“What is a Freesia’s meaning?”

“There are a lot of meanings, but my favorite is ‘being high-spirited.’” I smiled, recalling the first time my mother showed me a Freesia. “ _Traditionally,_ ” her voice rang through my head, as if she was explaining it to my five year old self just yesterday. _“Freesias were used to symbolize friendship. They convey a lot of meanings, though, just like, friendship,’ she grinned then, and there was a sparkle in her eye as she continued, ‘Innocence, thoughtfulness, perseverance, and being high-spirited. They remind me of you, Eren, in that sense.”_

_“They’re pretty,” my five year old self said once she was finished, and she smiled a little wider._

_“Very pretty, aren’t they?”_

_“Just like you, Mama!”_

_All she did was laugh before setting the flower down on the counter next to her, and then, she bent over and swept me up into her arms and began to kiss all over my face, and didn’t stop even as I tried pushing her away, screaming that my mama had lost her mind through a fit of giggles._

“I could talk about flowers all day, as weird as it might sound,” I admitted sheepishly.

“It’s not weird,” Levi said, and I was surprised to hear the tone to his voice. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it, but the way he said it, put me at ease. “It’s not weird to talk about something you love.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I smiled at him instead.

Silence, once again, was draped over us, the only sounds coming from the clanking inside the kitchen and the ideal chit-chatter from the other people enjoying their meals around the restaurant. I hated not knowing what to say, but there wasn’t anything I could think of to get anyone talking, as frustrating as it was. Yet, this silence was almost comforting as it dragged on, and after a minute or two, I was okay with it.

I almost forgot Hanji was there until she spoke up, “Well, Eren, I loved going out to lunch with you and Levi, but I gotta go do something with my friend, Moblit, so I’m leaving you with Levi.” She put a hand on his shoulder, glancing at him and then to me. “He doesn’t bite. But, if you’re into that, he does.”

I sputtered, my face heating up at her words, and I know I went even redder when she winked.

“Hanji, he looks like he’s about to shit his pants.”

“He’ll be fine,” she said, nudging Levi again. “Now, c’mon, I gotta get going. I’m late for my date.”

Levi looked at her, and she grinned. “Well, not a date, but you know what I mean. C’mon, move.”

He sighed but removed himself from the booth to let Hanji out, and she slipped out, throwing her smile in my direction once she was standing. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart!”

As Levi sat back down, Hanji set the keys to the car on the table, and then skipped over to someone who was talking to Christa (I figured that the someone was Moblit, the guy she spoke of), surely about his meal, and he smiled up at her when he saw her.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket then, deciding to check it real quick just in case I anyone had texted me. When I turned it on, I saw that yes, people had texted me. I had 4 texts from Armin, 2 from Jean, and surprisingly, 1 from Sasha.

Sasha and I rarely spoke, so it got me wondering about what she could have wanted. I was itching to look at it, to see what they all said, but a heavy sigh drew me to look back up to Levi.

“We can just leave now, if you want,” Levi said, zipping his coat back up, “Hanji will pay, and we don’t need to stay any longer if you don’t want to. I don’t see the point in staying, since we’re done.”

“Alright, let’s leave then.”

And that’s what we did, we left (but I waved to Christa before actually leaving, because, hey, I wasn’t sure when I would talk to her again).

We got in the car, Levi getting in the driver’s side, and I got in the passenger seat. In mere moments, after buckling up and turning on the car, Levi was backing out of the parking spot and was pulling out onto the road.

“Do you want me to just take you home?” Levi asked, looking at me through the corner of his eye.

_It’d be out of your way._ I wanted to say, but instead, I said, “My shift is going to end soon, but you can just take me to the flower shop, if that’s okay.”

“I’ll take you home. You’re going to have to give me directions.”

I was going to protest, and had even begun to, but Levi looked at me, and his look said it all: he wasn’t going to argue about it, and he was taking me home, which, I could tell, was final.

I never could win.

Giving in, I told him my address, but I still told him where to turn and what streets to take once we were in the area I was familiar with.

The fifteen or so minute car ride went faster than I expected it to. Earlier, it had dragged on, but now, it seemed all too fast, and before I knew it, Levi had pulled in my drive way and put the car in park.

He turned to me as I looked at the house, realizing that no one was home. Of course, my mother wouldn’t be there, and I’d be damned if my father was, but I kind of wished that Mikasa was home. She was still working though, since she wasn’t here; either at the flower shop still, or at her second job.

“Hey, kid.”

I turned to look at Levi, and saw that he was holding out his phone to me. Puzzled, I blinked, waiting for him to explain.

“Put your number in here,” he explained, and I grew even more confused. But, he seemed to be one step ahead of me. “Hanji will probably want it, and it’d be easier to get it now than later.”

Well, there was no harm in it.

I took his phone and brought up his contacts, pressing the ‘New Contact’ button. Slowly, I typed out my number, reading over it to make sure it was correct and then, I typed in my name. I then pressed ‘Save’ and handed Levi his phone back.

“I’d like your number too, if that’s okay,” I murmured, unbuckling.

Another bought of silence, but this one didn’t last as long. “I’ll text you,” he said, and it made my heart feel a little lighter, for some reason (at least he didn’t say that I couldn’t have it, I mean, hey, it was only fair since he had my number now, right?). “For now though, get the hell inside and sleep. You look fucking exhausted.”

I smiled. “Thanks for the ride, Levi.”

He waved me off, as if it was nothing, and then I climbed out of the car, closing the door behind me. He didn’t leave the drive way until I was inside, and I only knew that because I peeked out the window to see if he was still there and saw him pulling out.

I shuffled back to my room and collapsed onto my bed, just now feeling how tired I was, even though it was only 3 in the afternoon. I hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, and I wasn’t sure what to blame it on; there were lots of things I could blame it on.

I then remembered the texts I still needed to look at, and groaned. It could wait until I woke up from my nap, surely.

My mind wandered off to the day with Hanji and Levi as I closed my eyes. It was nice to spend time with them (even though I barely knew them, like, seriously) but, I liked it. Maybe it was a good thing that they invited me (Hanji invited me, Levi just stood there) to lunch.

I smiled. Yeah, it probably was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to go somewhere! c: Eren might be making new friends, how exciting!! (hopefully something more eventUALLY, we're getting somewhere) (I feel like the ending was kind of rushed, and I'm sorry, but I'm tired and really want to sleep but wanted to get this done so yeah-)
> 
> Also, I started tracking the tags: #fic: teach me what it means to love again , #fic: tmwimtla on tumblr so yeah! Until next time! uvu


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